Quotes from the Quorums

Heard on the floor of Northeast Presbytery at its May 1997 meeting:

Dr. T. David Gordon, Moderator of Northeast Presbytery, reflecting on his hotel roommate during the Presbytery meeting: "The Moderator was treated to the . . . 'Concerto for Snoring Pastor', which persevered through the evening until a well-deserved intermission at 5:41 AM which lasted for three minutes after which the performance was renewed with vigor."

A Commissioner: "Personal privilege, Mr. Moderator. Some of us are looking for a printer." T. David Gordon, holding up a pen: "Here's one. It's low tech." "Is that what you use at Gordon-Conwell?" "At Gordon-Conwell this is very high tech."

A Presbyter: "Would you be open to counsel?" T. David Gordon: "We're all open to counsel. We just don't ever heed it."

"You know what an omnibus is-they either all fly or all sink."-Moderator Gordon.

When Mr. Kevin O' Connor, who does not have a college degree but is now planning to attend seminary, appeared on the floor for examination as a candidate, one member of the court wanted to know if he was aware of the extraordinary clause for ordination (whereby, by a three-fourths vote, a presbytery may waive the college requirement). After the Committee Chairman indicated that Mr. O' Connor had been so informed, the Moderator quipped, "He's been Mirandized."

TE Steve Gonzales, reading a ministerial call: ". . . 'that you may be relatively free from worldly cares and avocations'-is that the wording?!" John Vance: "I move that the Freudian slip be struck." T. David Gordon: "I don't think the slip was Freudian. . . . You have a motion to approve this honest call."

Chairman Gonzales: "Do you take any exceptions to the standards of the PCA, particularly the Westminster Confession of Faith and Larger and Shorter Catechisms?" Mark Scholten: "I appear to be rather unique-I take no exceptions." Chairman Gonzales: "Have you read them?" Mr. Scholten: "Over the past two weeks I've read the entire Confession again." Moderator Gordon: "That explains the glazed-over look."

Mr. Scholten was being received into Presbytery from an independent Reformed congregation in Grand Rapids, which subscribes to the Three Forms of Unity. That resulted in the following exchange between him and the Moderator. T. David Gordon: "Would you like to comment on the difference between the Heidelburg Catechism and Westminster Confession of Faith 18-3 with regard to assurance? Which is closer to your view?" Mark Scholten: "I was going to ask if the Moderator can ask a question." "Actually, the Moderator can, but you don't have to answer his." "Next question, please."

"Do we have any instruction from [the church] regarding the meal?" "Pay."

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