Quotes from the Quorums

The following quotes were heard on the floor of the January 15, 2000, meeting of North Georgia Presbytery:

"My youth group leader in seventh grace never would have dreamed that I'd be standing here one day. My parents are equally shocked."-Ralph Kelly, being examined to become a ministerial candidate.

"I have a youth ministry degree that is almost totally useless. . . . I'm not at 'liberty' to tell you which school I went to."-Greg Tinkle, speaking of the Christian college in Virginia he attended.

"I'm sure you're wondering about the $64,000 question. . . . How is it that you grew up in West Philadelphia, got saved in a Pentecostal church, and are now standing here as a Presbyterian? . . . In the last millennium, we became members of Tenth [Presbyterian in Philadelphia]."-Lance Lewis.

"I became a Christian at the age of six. However, after that, it didn't take too long to grow up into the child my mother didn't want me to play with."-Bernie Kuiper.

Ted Lester: "Who are the proper subjects of baptism?"

Dong Soo Rhee: "Children of believers, [too]."

Ted Lester: "We wanted to make sure you got past New Orleans Baptist Seminary!"

Ted Lester: "How much water should be used in baptism?"

Dong Soo Rhee: "It depends on number of hairs."

Harvey Anderson: "What does Presbytery do?"

Dong Soo Rhee: "In my case, ordination."

"I was embarrassed by the number of our churches that have not turned in their statistical reports. . . . In the old denomination, when a church didn't turn in a statistical report, it was always assumed that it was because they were ashamed. . . . So, if you're not ashamed, please turn in your statistical report."-Kennedy Smartt, Moderator of the 26th PCA General Assembly.

Heard on the floor of Western Carolina Presbytery, during a church polity exam:

"What is an 'associate member'?" "A Floridian."

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